So. This is the 'emotional computer stuff' I told you about. No one's seen this. I hope you don't freak. I typed this up about a week ago. At like... 3 A.M.
I should've been sleeping...too much on my mind.
I was worried...
"I want you to know:
You have the most beautiful, colorful, and AMAZING eyes I've ever had the pleasure of gazing into. I hate when you look away. And when I see them cry, my heart falls apart. They remind me of a better place than the one I'm in. So, with you is where I want to be.
There's a connection that I have with you that I've never had with anyone else. I share all of my secrets with you. People told me I'd find a friend like you... I just never believed it until now.
Your smile makes me smile...simply put...
hearing your voice makes my day. Your laugh makes me happy. I love to listen to you and help you out. Even if I'm the only one who's there for you, it doesn't matter.I'll never leave. You're like a sister to me.
You're the only friend I need.
It's hard to explain, but I'm trying.
I want to learn you and understand you in a way that no one else ever has.
When you hug me I feel safe...I guess thats why I like it so much...God, I'm so selfish...
There's just something about you...
When I'm away from you for the smallest amount of time, I miss you. I can tell any and everything to you...
You mean the world to me.
I know I'm alright when I'm with you. When you hurt, I feel your pain. With you, it's the little things that matter to me...The fact that you say 'I love you,' first when we part...lets me know you care. And when I make you angry... I want to freeze time and take it all back...make it all better.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Your soul is so pure, to me at least. I think you're beautiful ALL the time. Whether you're in sweats or high heels. You're amazing to me.
You push yourself to be the best, but you already are. You push me and you don't let me slack. You always want honesty. You make me better.
I appreciate you more than you know.
I want nothing but the very best for you.
I don't know what I'd do without you. I Love You so very, very much. You just don't understand.
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I love how we stay up all night talking... It lets me know that you really are there for me.
I think it's funny how we switch beds and break laws. ( that sounds dirty but oh well)
I wish I could take all of your pain from you and make it my own. I hate to see you hurt. You don't deserve to be treated the way you are by other people. It hurts me to see it happen. It infuriates me sometimes.
I love your devotion to your friends and how you stand up to people who hurt them... it's a trait I wish I had. Naruto :D
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I hope you find a guy who truly loves you for you... One that is everything you've ever prayed for. I hope he finds you at the perfect time in your life and that he fills that hole in your heart COMPLETELY.
None of that player bullshit that I see too often.Please don't fall for that. I'll tell you when I sense it. I don't think I could stand seeing you cry over a boy who broke your heart. I'll kill him.I swear.
I love spending time with you. I enjoy every second of it. You make my life fun again.
I can't wait to see what our lives will be like in 10 years. I don't know if we'll be married to supermodels and have awesomelygorgeousamazinglywonderfullybeautiful children. Or if we'll be traveling the world to see what else is out there. Maybe we'll be watching the Tokyo skyline. Or maybe we'll be rich and famous...
Or maybe we'll be in Japan watching the Osaka sunrise together... starting our day off with coffee (with cream. FOOL! xD) and appreciating how far we've come in life. Remembering how many obstacles we've helped each other over...and how many amazing times we've had together.
I can't wait at all. I'm excited as ever to see what the future holds. All I know is that I want to spend it with you. :)
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I don't think I'll ever run out of things to say about you. Everything you do amazes me.
I don't think I could stay mad at you for long. I never want to be on your bad side. And when we fuss at each other, we always make up quickly. I'm happy about that.
I never want to lose you.
I love how you always ask me how my day went. It shows that you care. That you actually want to know me. You want to know how I feel.
I like how you ask for MY opinion. Even though I can never think of the right words to say, you still care about what I think. I appreciate that.
I love the way you think. You're so intelligent. You enlighten me.
I love how we help each other understand things. It helps me learn more about you...how you think...what you feel...
I love the you always want to help me with my troubles. You get me through a lot.
I always want to talk to you about everything. You are always there for me. So many of the people that I thought had my back left me when I needed them the most. You've always been there. I'll ALWAYS be there for you. Dateebayo!
You're such a beautiful person, with such a beautiful mind, with such a beautiful heart, and such a beautiful soul...You're B E A U T I F U L in every way...
...I just wish you'd believe me when I tell you that...
I want to protect you. Keep you safe. Make sure you're okay. I want your life to be amazing. I never want to see you upset... I hate when i do stupid stuff that ticks you off. I need to watch the way I act sometimes....
I love when you rest your head on my shoulder...or hold my hand when we talk...It makes me smile. :)
I love when we play fight...it makes me laugh. I'm such a kid.
Every time I pray, I pray for you....for your family life and the people in it. I pray for your health. I pray for God to take the stress and troubles you have in your life away from you. I pray for your happiness...our friendship...your other friends...your future husband and children...your grades...the day ahead of you...the life ahead of you...that you sleep well every night...that you wake up every morning...
Everything.
I thank God everyday for blessing me with you...
I couldn't ask for a better friend...
I love the way you listen to everything I say, take it into consideration, and answer from your heart. I adore that about you.
I'm so happy that we're as close as we are.
I'm so happy that I opened up to you...
...and that you opened up to me too...
You're one of the best things that's ever happened to me.
You really are something special.
I can't imagine living my life without you.
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I'm gonna keep it simple today. I'm an idiot. By the grace of God you still love me. How?
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All I want to do is see you happy... no matter the cost.
I'd give my heart to you; if you didn't already have it.
You're the BEST friend I could ever ask for... you make me SO happy. There are so many feelings that I can only attempt to explain...
I just know that...
I love you more than anyone; and nothing can ever change that.
I honestly don't think you'll ever fully understand how much you mean to me...
...But I'll try to help you understand as best I can."
-MK :)
I hate sleeping alone…
Resolution.
Lately, I’ve noticed I’ve taken you for granted. I don’t respect you like I should. I get angry too easily and don’t choose the best words or actions. I don’t show my love anymore. I joke too much. I’m immature. I’m sorry. I need to grow up. I feel like I’m messing up at everything I do… Even my best friend doesn’t want to be around me because I act like an idiot. I never think before I speak. I’m inconsiderate of your feelings. I make stupid decisions. I have to change.
I want to go back to the way things were. So perfect. I loved how it used to be. I feel that I’ve been growing further away from who I was 3 months ago. I feel like the ‘new’ me is pushing me away from you. I hate the ‘new’ me. I never express myself anymore. I’ve become indifferent. I’ve lost the way with words that I once had. I have to get the old me back… The new one will kill me slowly. I’m going to start using this site more often to tell you how I feel if I can’t do it in person. That’s my resolution: be a better ‘me’ for you and those around me…
“Chasing Cars” - Snow Patrol
We’ll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don’t need
Anything
Or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don’t quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They’re not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life
Let’s waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we’re told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that’s bursting into life
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they’re all I can see
I don’t know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Song of the Week
“Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol
One of the most perfectly worded, beautiful songs I’ve ever heard in my life. It describes a lot if what I feel; yet it doesn’t even scratch the surface.
Words can’t describe what I feel for you anymore. I’ve decided “love” isn’t a good enough word. I over use it. I have to try to find another. I think I’m scared of how I feel. I think that it’s driving me insane. I’m too scared to talk about it. I write songs. But they don’t do my heart justice. I wish I could just show you. But I’d doubt you’d let me. I don’t want to tell you how I’d show you… I’m too scared to. It’s a feeling that’s bigger than my body. So hard to describe. God, I just hope you feel it one day. I’ll deal with the torture.
Kirsten: Part 1
Because of the barriers of language it may be close to impossible to make you see what I see. To fully understand, you’d have to transcend boundaries and literally see through my eyes. I’ve tried to put how I feel into words … What you read and what I’ve told you doesn’t even come close to what I feel inside.
So… Here goes nothin’…
I want to try to explain what I see in you…. It’s gonna be hard to do… So I’ll take it one step at a time…
Beautiful.
This word falls short.
Its simply the best word that this language has to describe you.
Perfection in its most perfect form.
You.
I think that every little thing you do from the way you laugh to the way you mumble when you sleep is something God has blessed me with the pleasure of experiencing. So cute :) .Your eyes are… There’s not even a word to describe. God, I love them. They take my breath away. Even the way your hair blows in the wind is amazing to me.
You’re just so… Kirsten. :D
Everything, EVERYTHING about you blows my mind.
For starters:
Your intelligence: you’re such a deep thinker. You notice things that I would’ve never seen and you think of things that are so beyond me. You underestimate yourself.
Your righteousness: you stand up for what you believe in, Naruto. :) If someone wrongs a person that you love, you never let it slide by. I’m too lenient to do that.
Your sense of humor: you’re hilarious.Simply put. Even though I know you don’t notice it, you always make me laugh and smile.I love being around you.
Your way with words: you’re such a great writer. You pour your everything into your craft; I admire that. You think much to lowly of yourself though. You underestimate yourself.
Your eyes: deserve their own section. The way every color blends. The way every color is so distinct. The way they glow. The way I can see them even in the dark. Magical. The way the colors seem to move when the sun hits them. They come alive. Breathtaking. Perfect hues of emerald, cool gray, sky blue, burnt orange and amber. They’re just so wonderful. I never want to see them cry.
Your smile: your smile lights up your face. It makes your eyes sparkle. It makes me smile. It’s such a blessing.
I love it.
Your laugh: Its amazing. So cute. It makes me laugh. It makes my day. It’s so contagious. So beautiful. So you.
Your personality: everything that makes you who you are is beautiful. Unique. Wonderful. Colorful.
Your friendship: you’re the best friend I could ever ask for. You’re perfect. Youre a blessing. I dont deserve you. Enough said.
I love the way you look at me when you’re happy, the way you treat others, your temper. Everything. I look up to you. The beauty of you. YOUR SOUL. your HEART. Kirsten. I never expected my life to change when I met you. I stepped onto Teurlings’ campus expecting to never change. Never make new friends. To stick to the friends I’d known forever….Until I found you… You make me a better person. In every way. Something no one else has ever done… Or tried to do. They don’t even scratch the surface. When I do wrong, you correct me. You stand up for me when people hurt me. You’re always there for me. To guide me. You make me smile. The little things you do are so great. The way you smile warms my heart. Your laugh. The way you play with Haven and Jón. The love you show me. You make me happy. I worry about losing you all the time. I can’t imagine life without you.
Kirsten.
I know you say it’s luck… But I’m glad that I saw a new part of you today. It’s interesting. I want to know more about it. And you.
NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY
